Chapter 10

Let him lead me to the banquet hall, and let his banner over me be love. 

Song of Solomon 2:4 NIV                                           

Deidre

I stared down into my empty coffee mug and listened to the ticking of the clock on the wall for what seemed like the longest time. My dad sat across from me at the dining table doing much the same, as if the answer to all the complex issues that were just raised, would somehow appear in the bottom of the cup. He let out a long sigh and said the words that would prove to be true in so many ways: “Its not going to be easy…”

To say I had been overwhelmed by the sheer speed and depth of the events over the last few days would be a vast understatement. I knew beyond doubt that I was called to this relationship, but I had no idea how to be a girlfriend, let alone a wife. I felt the same, yet profoundly changed at the same time. 

Fortunately, a sweet and honest conversation that played out on some steps, reassured me that I didn’t have to be anything, other than willing, to love, learn and be lead by the Holy Spirit on this journey of mutual discovery. God had spoken gently to our hearts about the dangers of misguided assumptions regarding each other and ourselves, and reminded us that He was the source of all truth and confidence. 

Both David and I were fully aware of the firestorm that was about to be unleashed in our little community. Out of respect for my dad and to avoid any salacious rumors from finding their way to him, I decided to let him know honestly and openly what was unfolding.

Sitting across from each other at the dining table on that Monday afternoon, he listened intently as I laid it all out. To his credit, he remained quiet and listened without interruption. His response, when it finally came, was measured and thoughtful. Like any good dad, he had questions, raised from that practical place of parental concern, drawing attention to the vast differences between David and I, that went way beyond the physical. 

My dad may very well have had a different picture in mind when considering my future, or perhaps, like me, didn’t have any picture in mind at all. This new twist in the storyline however, came so unexpectedly and challenged deep, culturally ingrained philosophies that have tirelessly sought to draw clearly defined lines between ‘us’ and ‘them’. 

The idea of an interracial marriage forces even the most idealistically enlightened mind to hold a mirror to their heart and see the truth reflected. Many people are surprised at what they see and honestly, even I found myself in need of some adjusted perspective. 

We all suffer from a little bit of ‘us and them’. It may present itself in subtle comments or bold professions, fleeting thoughts or knee jerk reactions and extends way beyond race or culture. Jesus understood this flawed human nature and beautifully redefined this ideology under one common, redeeming banner. Love. 

My dad is one of the kindest and most generous people I have ever known and I had no doubt that in time, that banner would cover every doubt and concern with grace and peace. The wider community however, would prove to be a much tougher challenge.…

It was somewhat humorous to watch my dad adjust to the presence of a suitor around his daughter for the first time. I may have been an independent adult, but this was unfamiliar territory for everyone and poor David showed true grit and character in those early days of our courtship. 

Facing a fairly hostile old gentleman everyday, in pursuit of his only daughter, was very courageous and doing so with humble kindness, ultimately endeared him to my dad in unexpectedly beautiful ways. 

As my dad had so aptly remarked, we knew with absolute certainty that parts of this journey would not be easy. The inevitable challenges would soon roll in like storm clouds on the horizon, but there was always a brilliant light, lined along the edge of every dark cloud, reminding us that we will never be alone. Together, by glorious grace we would write the story that was printed on our hearts, come what may… 

*Video link on Web version*