Chapter 12

“For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.” - Hebrews 10:14

Deidre

Sighing in dramatic exasperation, I sat down on the curb next to my parked car. David had already marched off towards the restroom of the ENGEN service station that we had pulled into. 

He had recently acquired his learner’s license and was keenly working on his skills behind the wheel. Unfortunately, my patience as an instructor fell way short of the mark and truthfully teetered on a knife’s edge between support and condescension.

It was his first opportunity to drive a significant distance, as we headed to Johannesburg, and my tolerance had hit its end at his perceived lack of attentiveness.    

As the first rays of morning sun kissed my cheeks, I watched them dance off the glinting stone that now graced the ring-finger on my left hand. It had only been there for about twelve hours, and already its weight inspired a significant awareness that we had entered new and uncharted territory.   

The previous day had been a chaos filled series of unfortunate events, culminating in what surely was the most unexpected and unromantic proposal of all time. It was a Friday evening and David was struggling through final preparations for an assessment, scheduled the following day, in Johannesburg.

He had diligently applied every effort in pursuit of his qualification in sport sciences, despite the academic challenges that sought to discourage him at every step. He took it all in stride and rose to the challenge with bold determination. 

On this Friday evening however, the manic mayhem of the day’s events and the complex nature of the Physiology module he was trying to get through, proved to be a tad too much. Aided by my momentary lack of thoughtful filtering, we meandered into a suddenly explosive argument, unlike any of the minor disagreements we had breezed through before.   

Words were spoken and regrets were born, as they often are when speaking in haste. As stillness finally fell between us, the atmosphere tense and burdened by what had transpired, I watched him slowly reach into his pocket. 

The little red box in his hand flipped open to reveal its beautiful contents, starkly contrasting the ugliness of the last few minutes. Without words, he took my hand and slipped the ring quietly onto my finger. There was no fanfare or declarations of endless love. A simple, matter of fact gesture, that in the moment seemed completely out of place. 

My previous flurry of hasty words had given way to a stunned gape and I could not even string a rational thought together. We sat in silence for a few minutes, starring down at the new landscape of my left hand. David smiled gently and with a soft sigh, kissed the top of my head as he bid me goodnight, promising that we would talk tomorrow. 

I tossed and turned as the night wore on, mind racing to understand why he had chosen that particular moment to write this part of our story. The following morning, as we headed off in the predawn hours, my scattered thoughts were still leaning in the opposite direction of the stillness my heart was calling me to. 

The emotional overload, inevitably spilled into my attitude as I attempted to guide him through the in’s and out’s of long distance travel. Hence, I found myself sitting alone, on the curb of the rest stop in frustrated agitation. 

As a watched those sun beams play and their warmth settled on me, I finally quieted my mind enough for the whisper of truth to break through the noise. I prayed for peace and clarity, to realign my thoughts with those of the Holy Spirit and laid my regret, for having behaved so badly, at the foot of the cross. 

Understanding slowly flooded my spirit, like the light that had moments ago broken through the blanket of night. Life is not a fairytale. There are highs and very real lows, blended together in a delicate balance. Beautiful in its fragility, it is the tough times that make every moment of a life well lived so precious. David understood that before I did. 

When he slipped the ring onto my finger, he was silently, yet boldly declaring that he would stand beside me in faith, hope and love through every trial and triumph. He was asking me to humbly do the same and lay down any misguided illusions of a perfect marriage to come. My heart filled with overwhelming appreciation for this man, that always had the courage to follow God’s lead and held his hand out for me to do the same. 

We are both stunningly imperfect people, drawn together by the perfect love of a faithful Saviour, who redeems us with wave after wave of life-giving grace. He’s the one who declares endless love over both of us, and soothes weary hearts with peace that surpasses understanding. 

I glanced up to see David coming from the kiosk area, carrying two ice-cream cones. I could not hold back the peals of laughter as he sank down beside me on the curb. We sat, side by side, eating ice-cream as the sun came up and the simplicity of that memorable and defining moment warmed our hearts. There would be many important discussions and thoughtful considerations ahead, but thankfully we would always have Jesus to lead us, each other to hold and occasionally, when absolutely necessary, ice-cream to eat at sunrise.