Chapter 13

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

Isaiah 43:18-19

David

Dropping the last envelope into the basket on the dinning table, I smiled at Didi as she sat across form me, sipping her cup of tea . It had taken us all day to make our wedding invitations, after our commissioned order fell through at the last minute. They may not have won any style contests, but they were ours and we had spent a special day laughing, loving and enjoying each other’s company as we worked together to get them done. 

In all honesty, I had been completely overwhelmed by the detailed reality of wedding planning. I had never even considered most things that we had to navigate through in the last few weeks. My simple notion of “he shows up, she shows up, they say ‘I do’ and that’s that” evaporated about five minutes into the planning phase. Even this simple act of sending out invitations or planned seating arrangement was uncommon to me. 

In traditional Angolan culture, weddings are a festive community event, not usually limited to invited guests only. Considering how large even my direct family is, condensing the guest list down to the 80 combined total was a monumental challenge. 

At times the stark differences in our cultural backgrounds, inevitably threatened to sow divisive seeds. We tried earnestly to blend and weave our two very different worlds together, but it always felt like one or the other was compromising more. After a particularly tough discussion on how to go about it, we felt strongly convicted to pray for a new vision altogether. 

The Holy Spirit lit up our hearts with an entirely different perspective. Our individual backgrounds and cultures are valuable and will always be a fundamental part of who we are. As a family however, we were creating something different. A new ‘culture’, not defined by or limited to either of our traditions or customs. By grace, we would pursue the heart of Jesus in forging our family values and allow Him to shape our outlook and attitudes as we grow and learn. 

With the wedding date only weeks away, the practical realities of marriage, were at the forefront of my mind. Soon, I would be a husband and hopefully, one day, a father… Many nights found me tossing and turning, as my thoughts raced and wrestled with my heart’s desire to do it well. Midnight prayers, whispered into the darkness, were always faithfully met with gentle peace and the Father’s reassurance settled on me like a warm embrace. 

The truth is that, in spite of my best efforts and intensions, I will never be the perfect husband and she will never be the perfect wife. The pursuit of perfection would be folly and lead to nothing but disappointment. Instead, I would serve her and she me, under the redeeming banner of love that saved us both. And when the tough times come, as they inevitably will, I prayed that we would cling to that conviction in humble gratitude and continue to walk side by side in grace and faith.  

As she busied herself around the kitchen, I leaned back in my chair, content to watch her make light work of dinner preparation. It didn’t take long for her to toss some salads in need of chopping my way, her raised eyebrow playfully communicating wordless instruction that left no room for evasive tactics. I chuckled a little as I imagined the effects of that raised eyebrow on our future children and then swiftly got to work. 

In the coming week she would be traveling to Bloemfontein for wedding dress fittings. The suit I originally had made for my bulky frame, turned out to be the absolute worst fit in history. In near panic, I rushed to Woolworths and miraculously found a suit that fit like a glove. It was already neatly pressed as it hung against my cupboard door, instead of actually in my cupboard. The sight of it hanging there, ready for the big day, warmed my heart and put an extra skip in my step every time I thought about it. 

                                                                            Worst 'professionally' tailored suit ever, notice arm lengths and widths...😮

As we wrapped up final preparations in the coming weeks, I wanted to soak up every minute. It may be said that "A marriage is not a wedding," but we had grown tremendously in love, understanding and joy, winding our way through all the ups and downs. The gentle smile on her face as she worked, matched my own and confirmed the simple truth: She was mine as I was hers. We were more than ready to step into this next chapter together. It surely would be a spectacular adventure.